Getting More Out of Life
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"Once there is a certain degree of Presence, of still and alert attention in human beings' perceptions, they can sense the divine life essence, the one indwelling consciousness or spirit in everycreature, every life-form, recognize it as one with their own essence and so love it as themselves. Until this happens, however, most humans see only the outer forms, unaware of the inner essence, just as they are unaware of their own essence and identify only with their own physical and psychological form".-Eckhart Tolle.
Hi there,
and welcome to the April edition of Getting More Out of Life.
Ego, identity, persona. Interesting words, but what do they really mean to us in coaching and personal development terms?
My teachings have always revolved around the fact that we think that we know who we are. This is because we can talk about ourselves: "I am Marc, 39 years old, born in the Netherlands, partner to Simone, father to Kyara, ex-lawyer..... etc.... We will go on holidays in June, I have meetings planned next week, and in 10 years time I'd like to have mo-ney to burn, etc.......".
Doing so, I give myself and identity, and ego. I can "speak of me", and of others too. All this is part of the world of opposites, where things can go right, and things can go wrong. It's also part of the world of linear time, where things seem to have a history and a future.
When we get too caught up in this world of mind games, we will find our emotions and moods will swing from past to future, from right to wrong, from good to bad. We will complain that it seems impossible to hold on to a happy feeling. It seems to run through our fingers, and then gets replaced by another -good or bad- feeling.
The same goes for motivation: sometimes we have it, and sometimes we don't. Why can't we keep it!? Sometimes we seem to be on a roll, other times nothing seems to work. The past seems safe, the future seems misty and dangerous!
Why are we on this roller coaster, are we seemingly unable to find peace of mind, and are most of us always looking for more (either in terms of stuff, or in terms of knowledge, wisdom, etc.)? It is because our ego mind is constantly flicking forwards and back between past and future, between what was, and what could be. It is constantly comparing past and future, and judging the one better or worse than the other, thereby either wanting to get rid of the one, or attain the other.
The only place the ego mind cannot be is RIGHT NOW, in THE PRESENT. Our identity lives in the past or in the future, but never in the now.
In this now, or present moment, there IS peace of mind, there is this feeling of awe and gratitude that has no opposite, and we can all attain it. One major benefit of being in this presence-state, is that -paradoxically- you can get much clearer about what is the "right" way for you to do things. You actions will become effortless, your desires will begin to manifest mysteriously (which is the pure application of Law of Attraction). All this is because in the state of presence, there is no polarization, no pulling one way, and then pulling another way.
I admit, all this sounds very metaphysical and esoterical. It becomes very practical, though, when you start to apply it! Whether for business or personal success, being right here, right now will make you so much more effective.
So......the thing to do is to bring more presence into your life, and here are a couple of tips to do just that.
Set a Landmarc:
Firstly, become aware of your emotional swings. That sounds odd, but I mean it. Start observing how your mood swings on a day to day, moment to moment basis. In Neuro Linguistic Programming, one of the ways to get a client to step out of his emotions is to let him observe them. When you look at an emotion, you are not in it anymore! You are right here, right now. It is a very powerful technique to become present. Watch your emotions come, and watch them go, without being (too) attached to them.
Secondly, start becoming involved in what you are doing with all your senses. When you are brushing your teeth, brush your teeth, instead of thinking about what tomorrow is going to bring. When you are preparing a meal, prepare a meal, instead of regurgitating the discussion you had with your partner 2 hours before. When you are eating that meal, eat it, instead of flicking through a newspaper. Have all your senses involved in the action you are taking. This will allow you to be present, instead of being in the past or the future!
Thirdly, when you notice your thoughts are drifting off into the past or the future, both in positive or negative ways, breathe deeply two or three times, and focus on the airflow and the expansion of your lungs and abdominal region. Again, this brings you into presence, where the ego identity mind cannot be.
Lastly, don't make it too much effort. Effort is the domain of the ego again, namely: comparing how you DID things with how you SHOULD DO things. Past & future! Play with the concepts, and feel the difference when you are able to bring a couple of seconds of presence into your life.
My firm opinion is that major amounts of people in today's society are stressed, chronically fatigued, burnt out and sick and tired because of the grip our ego minds have on us. I am convinced that by becoming more present, living more in the here and now, we can lead more purposeful and happy lives, because we will know what to do when we need to do it, instead of freaking out.
Now that's something worth going for, I'd say!
"Once there is a certain degree of Presence, of still and alert attention in human beings' perceptions, they can sense the divine life essence, the one indwelling consciousness or spirit in everycreature, every life-form, recognize it as one with their own essence and so love it as themselves. Until this happens, however, most humans see only the outer forms, unaware of the inner essence, just as they are unaware of their own essence and identify only with their own physical and psychological form".-Eckhart Tolle.
Hi there,
and welcome to the April edition of Getting More Out of Life.
Ego, identity, persona. Interesting words, but what do they really mean to us in coaching and personal development terms?
My teachings have always revolved around the fact that we think that we know who we are. This is because we can talk about ourselves: "I am Marc, 39 years old, born in the Netherlands, partner to Simone, father to Kyara, ex-lawyer..... etc.... We will go on holidays in June, I have meetings planned next week, and in 10 years time I'd like to have mo-ney to burn, etc.......".
Doing so, I give myself and identity, and ego. I can "speak of me", and of others too. All this is part of the world of opposites, where things can go right, and things can go wrong. It's also part of the world of linear time, where things seem to have a history and a future.
When we get too caught up in this world of mind games, we will find our emotions and moods will swing from past to future, from right to wrong, from good to bad. We will complain that it seems impossible to hold on to a happy feeling. It seems to run through our fingers, and then gets replaced by another -good or bad- feeling.
The same goes for motivation: sometimes we have it, and sometimes we don't. Why can't we keep it!? Sometimes we seem to be on a roll, other times nothing seems to work. The past seems safe, the future seems misty and dangerous!
Why are we on this roller coaster, are we seemingly unable to find peace of mind, and are most of us always looking for more (either in terms of stuff, or in terms of knowledge, wisdom, etc.)? It is because our ego mind is constantly flicking forwards and back between past and future, between what was, and what could be. It is constantly comparing past and future, and judging the one better or worse than the other, thereby either wanting to get rid of the one, or attain the other.
The only place the ego mind cannot be is RIGHT NOW, in THE PRESENT. Our identity lives in the past or in the future, but never in the now.
In this now, or present moment, there IS peace of mind, there is this feeling of awe and gratitude that has no opposite, and we can all attain it. One major benefit of being in this presence-state, is that -paradoxically- you can get much clearer about what is the "right" way for you to do things. You actions will become effortless, your desires will begin to manifest mysteriously (which is the pure application of Law of Attraction). All this is because in the state of presence, there is no polarization, no pulling one way, and then pulling another way.
I admit, all this sounds very metaphysical and esoterical. It becomes very practical, though, when you start to apply it! Whether for business or personal success, being right here, right now will make you so much more effective.
So......the thing to do is to bring more presence into your life, and here are a couple of tips to do just that.
Set a Landmarc:
Firstly, become aware of your emotional swings. That sounds odd, but I mean it. Start observing how your mood swings on a day to day, moment to moment basis. In Neuro Linguistic Programming, one of the ways to get a client to step out of his emotions is to let him observe them. When you look at an emotion, you are not in it anymore! You are right here, right now. It is a very powerful technique to become present. Watch your emotions come, and watch them go, without being (too) attached to them.
Secondly, start becoming involved in what you are doing with all your senses. When you are brushing your teeth, brush your teeth, instead of thinking about what tomorrow is going to bring. When you are preparing a meal, prepare a meal, instead of regurgitating the discussion you had with your partner 2 hours before. When you are eating that meal, eat it, instead of flicking through a newspaper. Have all your senses involved in the action you are taking. This will allow you to be present, instead of being in the past or the future!
Thirdly, when you notice your thoughts are drifting off into the past or the future, both in positive or negative ways, breathe deeply two or three times, and focus on the airflow and the expansion of your lungs and abdominal region. Again, this brings you into presence, where the ego identity mind cannot be.
Lastly, don't make it too much effort. Effort is the domain of the ego again, namely: comparing how you DID things with how you SHOULD DO things. Past & future! Play with the concepts, and feel the difference when you are able to bring a couple of seconds of presence into your life.
My firm opinion is that major amounts of people in today's society are stressed, chronically fatigued, burnt out and sick and tired because of the grip our ego minds have on us. I am convinced that by becoming more present, living more in the here and now, we can lead more purposeful and happy lives, because we will know what to do when we need to do it, instead of freaking out.
Now that's something worth going for, I'd say!
posted by Marc | 2:13 pm
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