Happiness is Not an Option
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"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same."
~ Anne Frank
Now that is quite a strong statement coming from a coach/mentor, you could say. I agree. And so I don't consider the statement to be totally true, but there is some truth in it. I'll explain why.
When clients come to me with their life's questions, usually the underpinning solution to most of the questions is really simple. Ultimately, after peeling off all the layers, people "just want to be happy". Their idea is that, once they have achieved a certain level of "happiness", every other problem or issue will disappear, just like when you shine a very bright light on a shadow spot: the shadow vanishes.
My contention is that although this is a worthy endeavour, "universe", or the Universal Laws, does not allow for the experience of happiness only.
One of the operating laws of the Universe is the Law of Polarity. It states, put simply, that wherever one thing exists and is experienced, there must be an opposite thing as well. So, in order for light to be experienced, there must be something like darkness. In order for the experience of abundance to exist, there must be an experience of poverty.
And, in order for happiness to be someone's experience, there has to be something like sadness (or whatever you consider to be the opposite).
Striving for one experience only, without the other one, is a lost cause. There will always be a balancing-out process between the two extremes of whatever it is that you are experiencing. This goes for your life in general, but also for every single aspect of it, whether it be your career, finances, health, relationships, personal development, spirtuality, you name it.
Now the balancing-out process does not necessarily have to take place in the same context you are looking in. So, for instance, it may well be that you are experiencing absolute financial abundance (which is great), but have poverty in your relationships or your time (which is grotty). Or you may experience great emotional freedom, but lack any intellectual endeavours.
I have a client who is an accountant, and very successful at it, both financially and professionally. His big problem is the lack of time to enjoy the spoils of his work, and the lack of happiness in his relationship with his wife (he works around 90 hours a week). He wants to create more happiness and experience more freedom. That's relatively easy to achieve, but it comes at a price: he will have to work less, and therefore earn a bit less. He doesn't really like that idea, and it upsets him. Nature balances out!
Happiness in one area comes with a letting go of happiness in another.
Not it is never black and white in life, but in general you can say that happiness and sadness go hand in hand. They can not live without each other. There will be times that you are happy, and times that you are sad, regardless which area of life that happens in. See it like the Yin and Yang principle: they form one together, but each separate part has totally different aspects. I call that the Oneness Principle.
In most of our societies we have been trained to stay in a negative vibe predominantly: don't do such and such, look out for blah blah, be careful with this, that and the other, make sure you take care of rah rah. Is is surprising, therefore, that most people on this planet fear the future and look for some form of security? Not really.
We CAN express a preference for the other, better "vibration" (read: feeling), though, which is where Law of Attraction comes in. If you can live with the idea that happiness and sadness always balance each other out, then you can still choose to experience happiness PREDOMINANTLY, and choose it purposely.
Law of Attraction states that you manifest into your life whatever you PREDOMINANTLY put your thoughts, feelings and focus on. The more you choose to stay in one vibration PREDOMINANTLY, the more of that feeling you will experience. I teach very practical and easy to use tools to change that predominant vibration, which will ultimately give you more of what you desire, and less of what you don't. Neuro Linguistic Programming forms a big part of this set of teachings, as the language you use plays a decisive role in what you attract as your experience.
As long as you keep looking for one thing only, you will get caught out somehow, somewhere, sometime. The sooner you can accept that you need it all to experience it all, you are on your way towards more of life's pleasurable sides. Predominantly!
Set a Landmarc:
Firstly: look in your life where you hold opposite feelings: are you doing swell in your career, but lousy in your relationship? Is your health great, but your wallet empty? See the opposites, and realise they are part of the one same thing.
Secondly: Where are you PREDOMINANTLY? Are you a pretty happy-go-lucky person, or are you generally more serious and careful? Does the "let's love life" attitude come at a price? Does the "life's a task" way of looking cost you something?
Thirdly: wherever you feel you are holding on to an undesired vibration/emotion/feeling: what's on the other side? What would you like to feel more of?
Lastly: start observing in which areas of your life you already have that desired feeling. It's there! It MUST be! You just have to find it! Spend a week looking, and let me know the answers on my blog.
Keep me posted!
All the best,
Marc
"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same."
~ Anne Frank
Now that is quite a strong statement coming from a coach/mentor, you could say. I agree. And so I don't consider the statement to be totally true, but there is some truth in it. I'll explain why.
When clients come to me with their life's questions, usually the underpinning solution to most of the questions is really simple. Ultimately, after peeling off all the layers, people "just want to be happy". Their idea is that, once they have achieved a certain level of "happiness", every other problem or issue will disappear, just like when you shine a very bright light on a shadow spot: the shadow vanishes.
My contention is that although this is a worthy endeavour, "universe", or the Universal Laws, does not allow for the experience of happiness only.
One of the operating laws of the Universe is the Law of Polarity. It states, put simply, that wherever one thing exists and is experienced, there must be an opposite thing as well. So, in order for light to be experienced, there must be something like darkness. In order for the experience of abundance to exist, there must be an experience of poverty.
And, in order for happiness to be someone's experience, there has to be something like sadness (or whatever you consider to be the opposite).
Striving for one experience only, without the other one, is a lost cause. There will always be a balancing-out process between the two extremes of whatever it is that you are experiencing. This goes for your life in general, but also for every single aspect of it, whether it be your career, finances, health, relationships, personal development, spirtuality, you name it.
Now the balancing-out process does not necessarily have to take place in the same context you are looking in. So, for instance, it may well be that you are experiencing absolute financial abundance (which is great), but have poverty in your relationships or your time (which is grotty). Or you may experience great emotional freedom, but lack any intellectual endeavours.
I have a client who is an accountant, and very successful at it, both financially and professionally. His big problem is the lack of time to enjoy the spoils of his work, and the lack of happiness in his relationship with his wife (he works around 90 hours a week). He wants to create more happiness and experience more freedom. That's relatively easy to achieve, but it comes at a price: he will have to work less, and therefore earn a bit less. He doesn't really like that idea, and it upsets him. Nature balances out!
Happiness in one area comes with a letting go of happiness in another.
Not it is never black and white in life, but in general you can say that happiness and sadness go hand in hand. They can not live without each other. There will be times that you are happy, and times that you are sad, regardless which area of life that happens in. See it like the Yin and Yang principle: they form one together, but each separate part has totally different aspects. I call that the Oneness Principle.
In most of our societies we have been trained to stay in a negative vibe predominantly: don't do such and such, look out for blah blah, be careful with this, that and the other, make sure you take care of rah rah. Is is surprising, therefore, that most people on this planet fear the future and look for some form of security? Not really.
We CAN express a preference for the other, better "vibration" (read: feeling), though, which is where Law of Attraction comes in. If you can live with the idea that happiness and sadness always balance each other out, then you can still choose to experience happiness PREDOMINANTLY, and choose it purposely.
Law of Attraction states that you manifest into your life whatever you PREDOMINANTLY put your thoughts, feelings and focus on. The more you choose to stay in one vibration PREDOMINANTLY, the more of that feeling you will experience. I teach very practical and easy to use tools to change that predominant vibration, which will ultimately give you more of what you desire, and less of what you don't. Neuro Linguistic Programming forms a big part of this set of teachings, as the language you use plays a decisive role in what you attract as your experience.
As long as you keep looking for one thing only, you will get caught out somehow, somewhere, sometime. The sooner you can accept that you need it all to experience it all, you are on your way towards more of life's pleasurable sides. Predominantly!
Set a Landmarc:
Firstly: look in your life where you hold opposite feelings: are you doing swell in your career, but lousy in your relationship? Is your health great, but your wallet empty? See the opposites, and realise they are part of the one same thing.
Secondly: Where are you PREDOMINANTLY? Are you a pretty happy-go-lucky person, or are you generally more serious and careful? Does the "let's love life" attitude come at a price? Does the "life's a task" way of looking cost you something?
Thirdly: wherever you feel you are holding on to an undesired vibration/emotion/feeling: what's on the other side? What would you like to feel more of?
Lastly: start observing in which areas of your life you already have that desired feeling. It's there! It MUST be! You just have to find it! Spend a week looking, and let me know the answers on my blog.
Keep me posted!
All the best,
Marc
posted by Marc | 8:27 am
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